You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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