I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
