Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
