"it" just moved
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
