the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
