I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
