Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
