I bet he comes in French.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
