the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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