Do you still have your period?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My vagina is officially offended.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
