you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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