Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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