I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
