alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
