Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize