Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
