dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
