I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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