I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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