If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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