At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
