So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize