school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
