This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize