Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
