Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize