I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize