I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
