bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
