Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
