mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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