I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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