I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize