if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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