There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
