Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
