That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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