Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
