Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
