Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
drinking out of a sandbucket again
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize