You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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