I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
