I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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