Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
