He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
