She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
