ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
