I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
