She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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