we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
