So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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