i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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