i think i have herpe
just one?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
