I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
