I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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