i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
