Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
