she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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