Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just want to make out with him forever
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize