i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
