The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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