Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize